


The Glang-Over

by BadgerInMySoup



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, klaine wedding mini bang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 14:35:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadgerInMySoup/pseuds/BadgerInMySoup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In spectacular movie plot-ripping action Cooper, Mike, and Sam lose Blaine before his wedding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Glang-Over

Cooper wakes up with a pounding in his head and a sense of foreboding at the back of his mind.

“Something-“ he winces at his own shouting and lowers his voice, “something is wrong.”

Sam pops up from the pile of blankets at the foot of his bed and looks around. “What? Why is Nicholas Cage here?”

“I swear to God,” Santana grumbles from the next bed, “If you two don’t shut your traps, you’re both dead.”

The closet door opens and Mike tumbles out looking confused. “What…exactly happened last night?”

“We had one hell of a rager,” Sam says, grinning. “I mean, I think.”

“Or an orgy,” Santana suggests and Sam sends Cooper a panicked look before he flails and falls out of bed. She cackles.

“I feel like my head is being smacked repeatedly by an aluminum baseball bat,” Mike says, “We definitely had a rager.”

“Clearly, it was successful,” Cooper says, smiling. “I am the greatest Best Man.”

“Um, excuse you,” Sam says from the floor, “I believe Blaine named me the Best Man.”

“You’re both wrong,” Mike says, “Because Blaine told me I was his Best Man. That’s why I brought the alcohol. I think.”

“That’s why I hired the stripper!” Sam says.

“You hired Santana,” Mike deadpans, “And she drank my six pack and didn’t shed a single piece of clothing.”

Santana shrugs. “Still getting paid.”

“Also, Blaine’s gay.”

“Yeah,” Sam says, “But so is Santana.”

“This is unacceptable,” Cooper says and he throws the blankets off him. He stomps over to the bathroom door and knocks. “Blainey? Get out here and tell them all that I’m your Best Man.”

When no one answers, Cooper gently pushes the door. It swings open and reveals a dark, empty room. He turns to Mike.

“Was Blaine in the closet with you?”

Mike shakes his head.

“He’s not under the beds!” Sam calls, still on the floor.

Santana picks her head up and does a quick glance around. “Pretty sure he’s not here.”

Cooper pales. “Oh God. Oh God, we lost him. We lose one of the two grooms. We lost one half of the main attraction!”

“Shit,” Mike says, running a hand through his hair, “Where did we go last night?”

“I remember we had to leave the hotel to pick up more alcohol,” Sam says, “And everything else is a blur.”

Santana chuckles. “I cannot believe I’m sitting in an actual version of the Hangover right now.”

Cooper frowns. “I auditioned for that. Did I lose Blaine on purpose for method acting…”

“I think we should concern ourselves with the most important thing, Cooper,” Santana says, smirking, “Who is Hummel going to murder for losing his hubby to be?”

“The Best Man,” Mike says, “Which I am not.”

“Not it!” Sam agrees, poking his head up to show them all the finger he has pressed to his nose.

“None of you are coming to Hollywood. Ever.”

* * *

 

“Okay,” Cooper says, “We have what the police force would call a Missing Person Situation.”

Mike, Santana and Sam all sit on the bed as Cooper paces in front of them. They’re all dressed, haphazardly so; Sam keeps dozing off and falling onto Santana’s shoulder, yelping each time she elbows him awake.

“I had a three episode guest stint on NYPD Blue,” he continues, “So I know exactly what we have to do. First, we look for him. Then,” he pauses to point at all three of them, “We find him.”

He points to the table. “I managed to uncover three receipts from our nightly adventures. There is a possibility Blaine is wandering one of these locations, as lost and confused and hung over as we are. We’re going to split up and case these places to find him.”

“There are three of those and four of us,” Sam says, “So what will the fourth person do?”

“Wait here in case he comes back,” Cooper says, “And clearly, that should be-“

“Me,” Santana says.

“Well, Santana, I was thinking more along the lines of myself,” Cooper says, “And because this is my plan, well.”

Santana pulls out her phone and mimics making a call. “’Good morning, Kurt. I hope you’re enjoying the morning before your wedding. Especially since it looks like there isn’t going to be one! Stupid, dumb and dumber here seem to have lost Anderson. I hope your homicidal rage still ends in a reception. Please pass this message along to your father, Burt Hummel, who is probably capable of killing someone barehanded and who adores his future son in law,’ is what I can leave on Hummel’s voicemail any time, Ken doll. So, who is staying in the hotel again?”

Sam leans back to look at Mike around Santana, “Am I stupid, dumb or dumber?”

Cooper sighs heavily. “Very well. Santana will wait here for us to return. Mike and Sam: take these pictures with you. It will help people recognize Blaine.”

Mike stares. “Cooper you drew a stick figure. In crayon.”

“When I was on NYPD Blue, I didn’t have to worry about the props!” Cooper shouts. “Sorry, I got a little emotional. I figured that a brother who just lost their brother would be emotional so I’m playing that up. Was that good? Should I try it again? Maybe a weepy shout?”

“Maybe we should see weepy shout,” Sam suggests.

“I think,” Santana says loudly before Cooper can try it again, “You best all be getting a move on. Brit is coming over to help me wait for Blaine.”

Mike smirks but Cooper only nods encouragingly. “Yes! Good thinking, Santana. Two sets of eyes are better than none.”

Santana hums in approval and pulls out her phone to text.

* * *

 

Mike goes to the bar and Sam to the mini mart down the road but Cooper gets the unfortunate surprise of running into Kurt.

He’s flanked by Mercedes and Rachel, wearing one of the fluffy robes that Cooper vaguely recalls trying on the night before but getting yelled at by someone to take it off. Then yelled at more when he took it off and wasn’t wearing anything on underneath.

“Kurt!” Cooper exclaims, “Kurtie! How are you?”

“I’m fine,” Kurt says, smiling. “I-“

“And ladies,” Cooper grins at both of them, “How are two of the most gorgeous beings in show business?”

Mercedes rolls her eyes but Rachel giggles a little and says, “Oh, Cooper. You flatterer.”

“If you will all excuse me, I have a quick errand to run. But, really, future baby brother, we need to chat soon, just you and me maybe okay bye.”

Cooper darts off. Kurt stares after him, eyebrow raised and then turns back to his girls. “Is it just me, or was Cooper acting more Cooper-y than usual?”

“You’re so lucky he’s going to be your brother in law,” Rachel breathes.

Mercedes and Kurt exchange glances but wisely say nothing.

“I want to thank you both for my lovely pre-wedding party by the way,” Kurt says, lacing his arms with both of theirs and setting off down the hallway, “I missed our diva sleepovers.”

“I have too,” Mercedes agrees, “Even the Rachel part.”

Rachel sticks her tongue out good naturedly and then beams at Kurt, “I’m glad we were able to make the night before the day before your wedding as memorable as the rest of today surely will be.”

She and Mercedes both giggle as Kurt turns red and, when they reach his room at the end of the wall, he shoos them away. “I love you both. I’ll see you tomorrow at the wedding.”

“Wait,” Mercedes says, “Santana update: The boys have left the room and are in a mad rush to find Blaine before you find out he’s missing. He drew stick figure wanted posters. Sam is down at the mini mart and, oh. I have to go get him, this is just sad.”

“Please do,” Kurt says, “But remember, not a word to Cooper. _Remember_ Rachel.”

She pouts. “Fine.”

He kisses each of them on the cheek then slips into his hotel room, gently closing the door behind him and slowly crawling into bed. The figure under the blankets shifts next to him and Blaine is poking his head out.

“Are you feeling any better, darling?” Kurt asks, running a hand through Blaine’s gel-less hair.

“A little. Headache not as bad. Desire to puke fading.”

“Thank God for small favors,” Kurt says dryly but smiles and presses a soft kiss to Blaine’s forehead. “Everyone is looking for you. Although, Tina met Mike at the bar a while ago to tell him and Mercedes went to fetch Sam now.”

Blaine grins. “I should feel a little bad about disappearing on them but they would not leave me alone about my best man all night, Kurt. It was supposed to be a fun party.”

“I know,” Kurt says and he kisses Blaine again, “You should make Santana your best woman, just to spite them.”

“I already did. Last night. Right before I snuck out to find you. Which, I promise, was not an actual plan.”

“Oh, I know,” Kurt says. “You just get so horny when you’re drunk.”

Blaine snorts, then groans and buries his head back into the pillow. “I hate hangovers.”

“I have a breakfast meal being sent up as we speak,” Kurt says, “A little grease, another nap and then you’ll be ready for _my_ pre-wedding party.”

“Oh?” Blaine asks mischievously.

Kurt giggles and sinks deeper under the covers. “Oh, indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt:
> 
> Hangover-type AU! 1) Blaine’s bachelor party gets out of control and Cooper, Sam, Santana (+plus whoever you want) lose Blaine right before the wedding; 2) Kurt/Rachel/Mercedes friendship; 3) happy ending!


End file.
